


roads that lead us towards one another

by silpium



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, the abuse is neglect towards kageyama!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silpium/pseuds/silpium
Summary: Kageyama doesn’t think much good about Hinata when he first sees him. He’s got a string, a bright, bright red one that’s all bouncy and curled, like Hinata himself, and Kageyama hates him immediately for having such a beautiful string.He only gets more frustrated as Hinata dashes his expectations and flies, meeting tosses that, maybe, if they were on the same team, or destined to—Although Kageyama doesn’t have a destiny, no matter how much the match blurs in his memory, Hinata stays stark.





	roads that lead us towards one another

The earliest memory Kageyama has is of the color red. It’s the array of red strings tied on everyone’s fingers, their pinky, linking them straight up with no tears or fraying to one other person, or more. Everyone except Kageyama himself, that is.

He remembers asking his mother, once, what the red strings meant. Distractedly, and rather annoyed, she’d told him of how the red string connected two fated partners, marking their bond and the love they were destined to share.

Kageyama asked her, then, obliviously, why her string didn’t lead to his father’s. She’d flushed redder than her string in anger and embarrassment, and—

Well, Kageyama doesn’t talk about the strings anymore. He’s learned by now that he’s an anomaly for seeing them, and he’s also learned why he doesn’t have a string. Because—and the words echo in his head—he’s a _tyrant, unlikable, insufferable, the whole team wishes he didn’t exist_.

So it makes sense there’s nobody to love him. Nobody ever really has loved him, anyway, so he’s used to it. It stings a little, yeah, if he thinks about it, but that’s it.

Kageyama doesn’t think much good about Hinata when he first sees him. He’s got a string, a bright, bright red one that’s all bouncy and curled, like Hinata himself, and Kageyama hates him immediately for having such a beautiful string.

He only gets more frustrated as Hinata dashes his expectations and _flies_ , meeting tosses that, maybe, if they were on the same team, or destined to—

Although Kageyama doesn’t have a destiny, no matter how much the match blurs in his memory, Hinata stays stark.

/ * \

When he and Hinata meet at Karasuno, something stirs in his heart like hope. But Hinata’s string is still there, and Kageyama still doesn’t have one, so his heart wells up with emptiness instead, pushing out everything else.

It becomes harder as they grow closer, after Hinata destroyed those walls within him. Somehow, he did it with one incidental toss. It’s not like Hinata knows about the soulthread, after all. It’s not a binding contract, as his parents remind him (or _parent_ , now, he supposes).

But it’s not his right to steal Hinata’s destiny to make something of his own. Even during middle school, that was a boundary he knew to never, ever consider crossing.

That resolve is weakening in the face of their evolving bond. There’s this flutter in his chest that he can’t ignore, constantly, around Hinata. This is someone who soared beyond every boundary Kageyama put up, someone who would be there no matter what. Kageyama’s chest burns so nicely with a warmth he’s never felt before, with that similarly evolving hope he didn’t even know could be kindled.

He just wishes he could bottle up that feeling and hold it all the time. It’s more than the closure of being part of a team who cares for him and likewise, more than the safety that comes from such a belonging.

With Hinata, he feels like he could make his own destiny.

/ * \

Hinata confesses to him after they win the Inter-Highs. It’s a confession that, with its underlying, gentle hope, breaks down whatever walls Kageyama had still standing up.

He accepts, and this tiny seed of guilt is sown in him.

Kageyama withdraws into himself a few days into their relationship. The shame crawls under his skin every time they’re together, like he’s using Hinata, and, well, he _is_ , isn’t he? But the way Hinata makes him feel is something truly special. Surely ignoring just one soulthread isn’t the most terrible thing. The threads get mixed up all the time, don’t they? 

Hinata isn’t stupid, even though Kageyama calls him that all the time, reflexively, more a habit and a sign of affection than anything else now: he notices. He _tries_ , tries so hard to lift Kageyama’s spirits that it makes Kageyama’s chest ache.

Kageyama finds himself at Hinata’s house maybe two weeks into their relationship. He’s in his futon and Hinata in his bed when Hinata finally breaches the subject. 

“Can you tell me what I’ve done to upset you?” is what he asks, and it’s meek and determined all at once. “You don’t need to date me if that’s what’s making you act like this.”

“No, that’s not it at all,” Kageyama replies before he even realizes it. “I like you. A lot more than I should,” comes out in a whisper.

Hinata hears him, of course. “What is that supposed to mean? You’ve been acting like I killed your cat, or something. Since we started dating, I mean,” and a touch of hurt seeps into his voice, “I don’t know. If I’m not who you want to be with, that’s okay. I promise.”

“You make me—happier than I thought possible,” Kageyama stutters, chokes out.

“Then what’s the issue, Kageyama?” And, oh, Hinata doesn’t even sound angry. He just sounds _hurt_ , and it makes Kageyama’s heart seize up.

He knows there isn’t really a way out of it, not anymore. So he takes a deep breath, and… “I’m going to tell you something that'll sound totally stupid. But I promise it’s the truth.” He doesn’t need to search out Hinata’s eyes to know they’re glued on him.

“You know that whole red string myth, right? The one about how you have a string connecting to your fated partner that’ll never tear, even though it might get tangled.” He can hear Hinata’s muffled _yeah_ through the darkness, a question hidden in it.

Hinata’s sitting up when Kageyama continues, swinging his legs against the side of the bedframe. It’s a quiet _thump, thump, thump_ more rhythmic and slow than Kageyama’s heart. 

“It’s, uhm. It’s not a myth. I’ve been able to see them for as long as I can remember. The strings, I mean. My parents weren’t bound, and I remember asking them why they weren’t. They got divorced a few years ago.”

“And?” Hinata asks, urging him on. There’s no doubt in his tone, no anger or annoyance, and it scares Kageyama as much as it relieves him.

“We aren’t bound,” Kageyama forces himself to say. Then the words begin spilling out with no thought of rehearsal to them, his anxiety taking a mind of its own. “I don’t have a string. I’ve never had one. And I don’t know who your soulmate is, but it’s not fair for me to push you away from them and create something like my parents, and…” 

He trails off, and in the silence Hinata leaves, Kageyama’s heartbeat is a full-fledged matching band, blood drained from his face and hands, making them much too cold and shaky.

Hinata stops swinging his legs, and his voice is soft when he speaks maybe years later. “Kageyama, when have I ever cared about what destiny wanted me to do?” And Kageyama’s heart— “If I cared about what destiny wanted, I wouldn’t be playing volleyball. Not with this height, not after middle school, not after you beat us so soundly in that match. But I still am, because I don’t care how happy I could be somewhere else, or how much easier it could be. I want the happiness and the path I’ve chosen for myself, not what some faceless destiny wants.”

Kageyama’s voice cracks as he forces out a “Hinata—”

“No, let me finish. The idea of soulmates is stupid, anyway. You're not perfect for me, sure. We’re going to fight, a lot, and some of those fights are gonna be bad. But the idea that someone is made for you and not themselves is terrible, and I don’t put any stock in that. If you’re not ‘made’ for me, who cares? If we’re happy, and I am, does this destiny crud matter?” Hinata looks at Kageyama, wearing an expression of earnest seriousness that’s so _him_. 

Instead of a pit of emptiness in Kageyama’s chest, there’s a flow of fullness, of pure relief. He can barely believe Hinata at face value, but just one look at him and one listen to the depth of what he said insists on their genuinity. And then—there, in Hinata’s bedroom in the dusk of a late autumn day, Kageyama feels a wall he didn’t even know he still had up fall, and his heart soaring through the blessed vacancies.

It’s another brand-new feeling Hinata’s given him, and his voice hitches on his reply of a “thank you,” all he can manage right now.

Hinata climbs out of bed clumsily and kneels beside Kageyama, and his voice is quiet as air as he asks if Kageyama is okay. And he is, he is, he’s just—so happy he can barely breathe, feeling the flutter and thrills in his chest through his bones and skin. He says as much, albeit maybe not as mushy, and the way Hinata smiles is brighter than anything Kageyama’s ever seen before.

Seeing it is something Kageyama didn’t dare hope for. It seems like a miracle of miracles, and Hinata interrupts his internal fanfare with the softest “You’re… smiling more than I’ve ever seen you before.” So, then, that makes two of them. “We—are you okay with staying together? I don’t care about any of that soulmate stuff. Even if I met them tomorrow, I only wanna date you right now. And I can’t make any promises, but I don’t think that’ll change.”

Kageyama nods, hard, and feels his grin spread even wider. He doesn’t have enough in him to care if it’s scary right now.

Hinata meets his gaze, not letting his eyes flit away, and asks him in a much steadier voice than Kageyama expected, “You’re—really beautiful right now. Uhm. Can I—would you mind if I kissed you?”

Kageyama shakes his head somehow harder than before, and he’s not even processed it once Hinata’s tilting his head with his eyes closed all tight and cute and he’s leaning in and—

 _Oh_.

Kageyama could’ve never dreamed of this, the warmth curdling through him at the simple, chaste contact of their lips. Hinata’s lips are all rough and bitten, just like his fingernails, and it’s just so, so nice and calming. Kageyama kind of wants to be kissing Hinata all the time. It feels all safe and sweet, even just as a peck on the lips like this. 

When Hinata pulls away all too soon, he replaces the contact by grasping both of Kageyama’s hands tightly, and he has the tiniest little smile that makes Kageyama flood all over again with warmth.

“Thank you,” Hinata says, “for telling me. I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been. You should’ve known I’d still like you, though, dummy. We’re partners no matter what some string says.”

Kageyama’s smile matches his, and for the first time in his memory, he can’t feel a burden weighing him down, even as he looks at the curls and loops of Hinata’s string trailing away from him. Instead, he feels light enough to fly.

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by the lovely [clem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferTM/pseuds/luciferTM)! thank you for bearing with me through so many fics i love u sweetheart
> 
> thank you so much for reading!! i appreciate it a lot! concrit is absolutely welcome, as are any other comments ;v;
> 
> my twitter is [@hhatsunetsu](https://twitter.com/hhatsunetsu) if you'd like to hmu!


End file.
